Remember how Dawn found a secret passage in her house? How could you not? It is only the coolest thing ever to find a hidden, ghost-filled lair in your old farmhouse.

I spent most of my childhood meticulously searching my home for any sign of a secret passage. My family moved frequently, so every year or two I was faced with an exciting new quest. Sadly, my investigations usually ended up with me getting in trouble for breaking, scratching or denting a part of the house. My mom would try and assure me that only plumbing pipes were hiding behind a wall panel. However, I wanted her to be open to the fact that if I popped off the panel, it could lead to a tunnel filled with old photo albums and diaries belonging to a girl from 1905. 

If anyone out there has a secret passage, please let me know. I’ll come check it out. I’ll even arrange a séance if you’re game.

While catching up on the latest episode of The Newsroom, I couldn’t help but notice the psychiatrist treating Will McAvoy looked awfully familiar. Then, in a flash, I realized he was the one and only paranoid schizophrenic who had stabbed my beloved, Dr. John Carter, on ER!

The pain washed over me as if Carter and Lucy had been stabbed yesterday. Most of all, the presence of the psychiatrist/schizophrenic on my television reminded me that I never did marry that fictional doctor. If only we had wed, perhaps I could have saved John from a life of drug addiction and failed relationships. At the very least, I could have come on the show as Lucy’s younger sister, had a torrid love affair with the wounded doctor and finally be ushered back to college by my mom, (Sally Field).

1. Sunburn

2. Incest 

3. Guy Fieri